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26 September 2005 @ 12:43 am
 
Gacked from wisdomeagle, which is generally like the last 12 character meme, only without the crack!pairingness.
1. Malcolm Reynolds (Firefly)
2. Gaia Moore (Fearless)
3. Gregory House (House)
4. Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)
5. Kate (LOST)
6. Illyria (Angel)
7. Dawn Summers (BtVS)
8. River Tam (Firefly)
9. Darlene Conner (Roseanne)
10. Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
11. Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)
12. Dana (Angel)

Which would make a better college professor, 6 or 11? What subjects would they teach?
Illyria or Logan Echolls. Alrighty, although Logan's enthusiastic sarcasm does remind me of some of my professors, I'd say Illyria would make the perfect college professor -- teaching about the age in which she once ruled the world that humans now roam; specifically speaking the ancient world and its orgins of becoming what it is. She would also challenge her students into many duels, which I imagine would turn into the midterm. Yes, this is an oddity of sorts, but it's all about the wack fun! Just imagine, Illyria as a professor. Teaching silly humans of her days when she ruled all of the world. Quite interesting that would be.

Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?
Hermione Granger. Definitely, both physically and intellectually.

12 sends 8 on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?
Dana sends River on a mission to hunt down and torment some of the men that have tortured and molested her when she was just a little girl -- and River, of course, succeeds in finding these men and beating the living shit out of them. Them dragging them back to Mal and his crew to finish them off....

What is or would be 9's favorite book?
1000 Ways To Annoy The Parental Units: The Complete Handbook as well as Night of the Living Cockroaching Invested Brains of Gore and Violence.

Would it make more sense for 2 to swear fealty to 6, or the other way around?
Gaia swearing loyalty to Illyria wouldn't necessarily go very well, since Gaia isn't one to follow suit in swearing loyalty to anyone in her life, though Illyria might just wanna keep Gaia as her pet (in replacement of Spike) because Gaia has major ass-kicking skills that might be useful to Illyria. Gaia may have something of respect for Illyria I suspect, but nothing further than that. Illyria doesn't have any kind of loyalty but to herself.

For some reason, 5 is looking for a roommate. Should 5 share a studio apartment with 9 or with 10?
Would Kate be able to share an apartment with Darlene or Jayne? Possibly both, considering that Kate is a criminal and Darlene is -- well, a very disgruntled and darkly sarcastic teenager that has a tendency of stealing and hanging out with the unpopular or "bad crowds" so to speak. Jayne and Kate would definitely get along, though he might remind her of Sawyer in some aspects. Hell, Jayne is only happy if he's got his money, whores, and Vera. Otherwise, cranky Jayne is a violent and betraying Jayne.

7, 2 and 12 have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?
Dawn, Gaia, and Dana having dinner together, now that would be an adventure. I guess they'll fight over which restrurant they would go for -- Gaia would want something cheap, Dawn would want something also cheap but with burgers, and Dana would just want to attack something or someone. After settling down at a cafe somewhere, Dawn would discuss slayer duties to Dana, who would just grunt and start mumbling off nonsense in many languages. One being Russian, that Gaia would understand and communicate with her. Dawn and Gaia would chat about their dysfunctional family situations, and so on. It would be interesting to see this actually occuring, really.

3 challenges 10 to a duel. What happens?
House challenges Jayne to a duel. Jayne gladly accepts, gets distracted by House's intelligent wit and awesome comebacks of medical diagnosis of our Hero of Canton, and knocks him off his feet before Jayne even thought of removing his cane and kicking him in the wounded leg. While Jayne is handy with a gun and quite deadly as he is, House in much smarter and quicker. Zoe wins the bet between her and Mal of who wins this duel. River just smiles in the background, dancing away (for she is all-knowing in her psychic ways).

If 1 stole 8's most precious possession, how would 8 get it back?
If Mal stole something precious of River's, she would literally kick the living shit out of him -- of course, in reality, Mal knows better than to take something from the crazy telepathic genius.

Suggest a title for a story in which 7 and 12 both attain what they most desire.
Um, "Dawn Achieves Glory By Recieving Secretive Key!Powers; Dana's Awakened Past Enlightens Her"....or something to that effect.

What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 and 1 to work together?
Hermione would help Malcolm Reynolds, as Serenity mysteriously transports itself into the magical world of the Potterverse, in figuring out how to operate the spaceship without mechanical needs (by means of actual magic); skeptical as Mal usually is, he doesn't take kindly to Hermione's offer, but is enthralled with her brilliant knowledge for such a young girl which River gets majorly pissed about that, because she is the genius on the ship, gorrammit! Kaylee wouldn't be too thrilled either, because Serenity is HER girl.

If 7 visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?
Awesome fun! Seriously, both me and Dawnie would be watching sappy romantic-comedies or old-school horror flicks all evening and then go shopping during the day hours, perhaps go to some dance clubs and whatnot. It would be like Girlfriend Weekend or something of the like. It would be freaking great!

If you could command 3 to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?
Diagnose me. Tell me the worse possible thing about my personality, about my habits, anything, no matter how painful the reality is. Because seriously, some doctors just don't tell the truth straightforward like House does. And I won't be saying what everyone else thinks I am thining, which I am, but this is the non-romantic or pr0nful version of the 12-characters, so zip it!

Does anyone on your friends list write or draw 11?
Possibly.

If 2 had to choose sides between 4 and 5, which would it be?
Gaia would probably choose Kate, because although she's a criminal she knows how to keep secrets. And knowing Gaia, she has plenty of dark secrets. Not that Hermione cannot keep secrets because she can, and is intelligent most of the time while doing so, but Gaia wouldn't see this automatically. Also, Gaia goes for the dysfunctional whackjobs like herself. So, Kate it is.

What might 10 shout while charging into battle?
"AAHHHH!" in a loud manly roar, is all I can think of. Jayne would most likely be yelling at the top of his lungs, holding and shooting Vera at the enemy charging right back at him.

If you chose a song to represent 8, which song would you choose?
Anything by Tori Amos, because the majority of her songs remind me most about our ickle River Tam.

1, 6 and 12 are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?
Mal would get it, obviously. Illyria would scrunch up her nose at the stuff and mumble something of unholiness of the stuff, and Dana wouldn't care if she retrieved it or not.

What might be a good pick-up line for 2 to use on 10?
Gaia would most likely say, "Wanna go somewhere where there's chaos and kick some ass?". Jayne would most likely agree. Romance thereafter the attacking of random strangers and bullies and the passing out would ensue, greatly.

What would 5 most likely be arrested for?
Theft. Stealing something. Robbery. Killing someone. What hasn't she been arrested for (considering she's been caught prior to the pilot episode)?

What is 6's secret?
She still wants Spike to be her pet.

If 11 and 9 were racing to a destination, who would get there first?
Logan would get there first. Darlene would lag behind because, while she used to be an athlete and played basketball in her younger years, she sloths about and isn't motivated much. Logan outranks her in this sense of racing.

3 and 7 tell conflicting versions of events. Which is more reliable?
House's retelling is more reliable. Dawn can sometimes bend the truth a little, just because she's the younger sister and at times wants to see the outcome of the situation if told differently. Then again, so does House if he so chooses too. Okay, both wouldn't be reliable. Neither wins.

"1 and 9 reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's sinister secret organization. 11 volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that 11 is actually a spy for 4. Meanwhile, 4 has kidnapped 12 in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5, they seek out 3, who gives them what they need to complete their quest." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Hoo-boy. Here is goes: "Malcolm Reynolds and Darlene Conner reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by Hermione Granger's sinister secret organization. Logan Echolls volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that Logan Echolls is actually a spy for Hermione Granger. Meanwhile, Hermione Granger has kidnapped Dana in attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of Kate, they seek out Gregory House, who gives them what they need to complete their quest."

Loving this entire story idea! Somebody should definitely write this. This is a crack!fic like whoa. ;D

If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 or 8?
River. Definitely River.
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Jbeauty_awake on September 27th, 2005 03:34 pm (UTC)
By the way great Jayne quote!!!!
amanda: power of the touch [by captainoats]morbidmuse on September 27th, 2005 09:30 pm (UTC)
Hehe! I just loved reading this. I didn't know all the characters but this was still a lot of fun to read! I love the answers to this. And I have to agree with your last answer.
Renée: Inara Joyous Drunkrogueslayer452 on September 28th, 2005 12:39 am (UTC)
Hee! :D

The last answer is a dead give away, I mean really River is definitely the one and only person I'd bring along. Bad neighborhoods, watch out! River's 'bout to smack a bitch upside the head, yo! ;)