Renée (rogueslayer452) wrote,

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College Ramblings

I really, really like my Film History class. More importantly, I really like the assignments that are given even though I tend to form a severe mental breakdown due to procrastinating and I stress out the night before it's due. But overall it's an excellent class to be in, and I'm really enjoying it.

But for some reason, I'm still intimidated by my professor. You know that feeling where fear and admiration clash together in the midst of someone else's high intelligence? That's exactly how I've felt and still feeling from the moment I entered the classroom. He's a really great speaker, dramatizes his speeches to demonstrate what he's talking about, and he's a very nice and friendly guy. So why am I so intimidated and terrified by him? Could it be because his presence and knowledgable speechifying words about topics I should already know about (and learning) make me feel inferior? And it's not just the professor, oh no. Some of the people in my class have presented equal intelligence. I'm smart, and I know I'm smart. I'm brighter than most high school students that complain about 1-page homework a night when I have to read a full-length chapter, write notes and type up a 300+ word essay paper by the next day. However, being in this class, I feel that being smart just isn't enough.

Am I overrating? Is all of this, the fear and intimidation, just inside my head because I haven't had much college experience to know or understand what's to be expected of me? I don't know. All I know is that I have to face this intimidation and fear and awe of these higher intelligent people in order to pass the class.

Nonetheless, I feel rather smug about my written analysis of Citizen Kane I had typed up last night (at the very last minute). After all, I did get a decent grade on my last paper. Perhaps this whole college fear will wear off soon -- hopefully, anyway.
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