Cuddy: You, in the lobby, now.
House: I hurt my leg. I have a note.
Cuddy: You had your hour. Three, actually.
House: [playfully] Dr. Chase, I told you to tell us when our time was up! She has intestinal bleeding.
Cuddy: She’ll wait. Two more buses just arrived. We need you downstairs.
House: No, you need more nurses. But you cut back on the nursing staff so you have doctors doing what the nurses should be doing.
Cuddy: That’s true. I wonder if that has anything to do you with you costing us $100 million.
Scene: Cuddy enters just as House, Foreman, and Chase are figuring out the diagnosis of the 12-year-old terminally ill girl. Cuddy and House snark back at each other. Entertainment and fun ensues.
House: No fever, no neck pain. Take the elevator to the third floor.
Wilson: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wrong form. No fever, no neck pain, she’s fine.
House: Smell her hair, no chlorine. Which means she wasn’t at the pool. Which means she’s come to a quarantined area because she’s a idiot or she’s insane. No one is that stupid. East wing, psych ward, bye-bye.
Scene: House, hilariously, is directing a teenage girl who'd bounced up to get checked with thousands of patients to be waited on when she was perfectly fine....and he diagnosed her as, apparently, insane. Love that man.
Wilson: You should just fire Chase.
House: What, and miss out on all this fun?
Wilson: So you’re going to torture him for a while and then fire him? That’s cold.
House: You don’t think he has it coming?
Wilson: Hey, I said fire him.
House: That’s cold. All he did was save his job.
Wilson: What? He completely screwed you over!
Scene: House and Wilson discuss Chase's utter betrayal of House with "Vulgar" -- House is having too much fun admitting to torturing poor Puppy.
Cuddy: Good coffee? The rest of this hospital is busting it’s tail, and...[House holds up cart in front of Cuddy's midsection]...What are you doing?
House: Trying to think of anything except the produce department at Whole Foods.
Cuddy: I am...working, it got hot, stop acting like a 13-year-old!
House: Sorry, you just don’t usually see breasts like that on Deans of Medicine.
Cuddy: Oh, women can’t be heads of hospitals? Or just ugly ones?
House: No, they can be babes. You just don’t usually see their funbags.
Scene: More House versus Cuddy snarkage, yay! Cuddy is wearing a very slinky (but revealing) outfit and House retorts his usual way. Lovin' the snarking between the two, and Wilson trying not to
stare directly into Cuddy's cleavage arealaugh.
House: [pops a Vicodin] Oh, dude. You are so hired.
Dr. Spain: Really?
House: [seriously] Not a chance.
Dr. Spain: Why?
Dr. Spain: Wow. I thought you’d be the last person to have a problem with nonconformity.
House: Nonconformity, right. I can’t remember the last time I saw a 20-something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist. You are one wicked free thinker. You want to be a rebel? Stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does and get a haircut. Like the Asian kids who don’t leave the library for 20 hours stretches, they’re the ones who don’t care what you think. Sayonara!
Scene: House is interviewing applicants to replace Cameron's spot; House doesn't like this applicant, therefore acts all smartass and persnickety. Gives intelligent advice, too, his last line.
I quite found this episode rather enjoyable, unlike from the "Vulgar" businessman trying to fire House and his employees through some of the prior episodes. For those unfamiliar with the previous episodes I shall not give too much away -- only that due to certain circumstances, Cameron had to quit her job....and apparently will only come back if House agrees to go out with her and admit to his feelings. But that's for another episode altogether to bitch about, so I won't get into that tonight. Tonight is about snarking with the snarkage, 12-year-old pregnancies, Chase "Puppy" torturing, and did I mention the snark?
Partnership Versus Relationship
The beginning of the episode had House arriving at Cameron's apartment door, wanting her to return back to work. This entire sequence really was convincing that House liked Cameron as a doctor, and probably a damn good one too. But Cameron wants something more from House...not just a partnership, but a relationship. House says he wants her back because she's a good doctor, but Cameron says that isn't a good enough reason. She wants something more -- she wants him, or thinks she wants him. The audience knows that House isn't good with people. He's not a people person. And while I do think he has affection for Cameron, as he does for all his crew, I just don't believe he has any feelings for her romantically. House isn't that kind of a guy -- but surely he does need to get laid.
I know I said this wasn't going to be a ranting pit about this. So I stop here, I just needed to point this out. Onward with the episode then....
The Facility Overcrowdedness
While I understand that there's plenty of chaotic happenings inside a hospital, weren't there be better ways in managing a chlorentine than having patients being treated in the middle of the hallway? Perhaps I found this rather unprofessional-like, but then again it made for quite an interesting episode. House parading around, trying to escape Cuddy's instructions and getting out of dealing with millions of patients. Hey, the man doesn't like clinic duty and isn't a fan of people in general, so having to deal with thousands of untreated patients overflowing the hallways isn't exactly his forte. Then again, it definitely was a hectic situation.
Definitely unexpected, at least to me until everything made perfect sense in the end. I suspected something more sinister, like the swimming coach molesting the 12-year-old girl or perhaps one of her male swimmates had drugged her with something or had a Veronica Mars situation happening or something along those lines. However it was something totally distubring all on its own: the preteen girl was pregnant, and the after-effects weren't pretty. Seizures, internal bleeding, and eventually death if it had continued if they hadn't aborted to fetus.
I liked how House managed to deal with the situation. At first his comments seemed harsh, but once the 12-year-old admitted that she knew what she was doing it became clear that it was the exactly right thing for House to say the things he said. His usual snarky remarks, but he made the message clear. I also liked how he played the father-figure, and letting her deal with telling the parents -- and he just stepped back, and let everything take its course.
Snark Versus Snark
House and Cuddy. Cuddy and House. Two snarkaging higher beings within that hospital facility, and while they may be completely persnickety with each other at times (Cuddy not agreeing with House's methods at times, and House wanting desperately to push Cuddy's buttons whenever he can), their entertaining remarks in this episode was just a snarktastic snarkfest. From the quotes about, I definitely say this was fun to witness on the televison screen.
The best part? Cuddy respects House, and House, while a complex man, does have respect for Cuddy as well.
Overall Thoughts: Wonderful and enjoyable episode. This is an episode where, the hilarity ensues, but has a very powerful message. For those opposed to abortion should look at the situation at hand here. Sometimes, you have to take risks in order to save a life. Not your After-School Programming, but at least it gest the message across. Plus, I finally saw a preview for the premiere of the second season! Whoo-hoo!