This episode was highly intense, to the point where I was actually feeling nervous and worried.
When Nikita was kidnapped I knew that something was going to happen, and the man who kidnapped her and tortured her was very scary. Just from the brief flashback of the mission Nikita had to do, and what she did afterwards, really added to how personal this was for him. And believe me, I was sitting on pins and needles during their scenes because I was wondering what in the world was going to happen next.
But my favorite aspect was what this episode explored.
Seeing Nikita evaluating herself, digging something dark from inside of her and bringing it into the light, it's a refreshing kind of character development. We've always known that she's regretted doing the things she's done, which is why she's been trying so hard after escaping Division to atone for those sins. But there are certain aspects of her that she doesn't regret, that she doesn't feel guilty for. Doing harm to that guy, Nicholas Brent, was one of them. He was a despicable human being and she wanted to hurt him, and she doesn't feel guilty for it. During the flashback Percy mentioned that she had evil inside of her, and that evil was a good thing. Already messed up as it was, Nikita probably went on believing that very thing for a long time, something that made her hate herself and she buried that darkness deep inside, until it finally was dug up. Of course, she used it as a way of distraction, to get underneath the skin of her opponent, because he wanted her to suffer but she used something to counter that. But she was also speaking the truth.
Which is what makes scene between her and Michael so amazing, and the conversation afterwards more meaningful of what they have between them:
Nikita: I said some unforgivable things.This only reaffirms just how strong and mature their relationship is. Michael knows that Nikita is troubled by her past, the things she had done, the things she was forced to do, and she doesn't fully love herself because of it, but that's okay. Because he loves her and is willing to be patient. There is nothing I dislike about these two together, every episode further proves just how perfect they are for each other. ♥
Michael: Yeah, but you had to. I know it's not because you don't love me....it's because you don't love yourself. And that's okay. I'm willing to teach you.
Nikita is now completely dedicated on taking down Percy, and I am excited for that to go down.